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Shane Jacob:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of The Horsemanship Journey Podcast. My name is Shane Jacob, your host, and I thank you for taking your time to be here with us today.
Today's guest is Robert B. Foster. Robert is a speaker, a coach, and an author who made it his mission to help people conquer self-doubt and unlock their potential. He came from being told that he would never run or jump again ,watched his father pass away, and donated a kidney to his sister.
And through all that, Robert has lived a life defined by resilience and grit. As a matter of fact, he is the author of the book Shut Up and Grind. Robert, welcome to The Horsemanship Journey Podcast. Appreciate you.
Robert B. Foster:
How you doing, Shane? Thank you for the opportunity.
Shane Jacob:
Right on. Well, I gave a little bit of clues there. Tell us all about you. Where did it all begin? How'd you get to be here?
Robert B. Foster:
So to understand this version of me, it's important to understand the beginning. I'm the youngest of seven, and we were all athletes, including my parents. For whatever reason, I hit my growth spurt late, so I was watching my older siblings thrive and excel in their sports. And here I was—skinny and short—so I kind of had a little chip on my shoulder growing up.
There wasn't any animosity toward them or anything. I just wanted the shine that they were getting. I wanted to step out of the shadow of being "so-and-so's little brother" because I heard that all the time, everywhere we went. On top of that, I had a bad stuttering problem. Like, bad bad. So it was bad enough that I was getting made fun of for being the skinny duckling in a family of athletes, and then I couldn't say three words without tripping over myself.
So there was just a lot of me really fighting and clawing just to get noticed.
As a freshman in high school, to give you an idea of just how small I was, I was 5'4", 88 pounds. To put it in perspective, one of my twin boys—because I know they're twins, but they're different heights—was six foot, like 130 pounds, as a freshman. Big, big difference.
I remember going into my track coach and asking him for the record book. He kind of gave me that little up-and-down look like, What do you want the record book for? And I said, "Because I'm gonna break the high jump record." He said, "You don’t have what it takes to be a high jumper." That moment there is what really lit the fire under me to become the competitive person that I am today.
I only had him for my freshman season and had a different coach for the other three years of high school. In the summer between sophomore and junior year, I grew almost six inches, so I finally caught up to everyone else. Then, I was able to forge my own path. Moving forward, everything I do in my life, I look at it through the lens of a competitor.
When people ask me to tell them a little about myself or ask Who are you?—that’s me in a nutshell: I’m a competitor. Everything I’ve gone through that you mentioned in the intro, I got through all of it through that competitive lens.
Shane Jacob:
Talk to me a little bit—I’ve got some questions about your story so far. First question: You walk up to your coach, you’re the small guy. So what compelled you? Where did you even get the idea that you’re gonna take and break this record? I mean, where did that come from?
Robert B. Foster:
From my father. My dad was an engineer, and he always figured out ways to get stuff done no matter what. I’ve never seen him give up on a job, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how many trips he had to make back to Home Depot or how far he had to drive to get the part that he needed.
To give you a quick example—he came home with this station wagon that was dented in from the passenger side all the way to the middle of the vehicle. I remember my mom, one of my sisters, and I were in the window watching him come up the driveway, and we were like, What is that?
He went out, spent about $1,500 on a machine to get the dent out, and six months later, I was driving that car. That’s where that drive came from. When that coach said that to me, I had two choices: I could let him define my reality, or I could prove myself right. It wasn’t even about proving him wrong—it was just about proving myself right that I was going to break that record.
That fueled me through those years of training. When I finally did it, it was just an amazing feeling. I got inducted into my high school Hall of Fame in2010, and that coach was actually there.
I thanked him for lighting that fire because maybe if he hadn’t said those words, I wouldn’t have gone after it as hard as I did. Just because he tried to clip my wings, I chose not to let him do it.
Shane Jacob:
That’s interesting. That’s an important concept—it’s not a little concept, it’s a big concept. What do we do with this stuff? People say things, and we can assign all kinds of meanings to what they say, right? You could have made that mean whatever you wanted to, but just having something to bump up against.
 And, you know, a lot of times I hear a lot of stories about people in that case, just, you know, like you said, arguing really you got if it's not against him, it's certainly for you. But you have you have some opposition to go up against.
 That's that's pretty incredible because it's just as easy, I think, or probably easier just to let that go. Well, you know, he's probably right. He is the coach, you know. You know what I'm saying?
Robert B. Foster:
Yeah, but that’s when you have to bet on yourself. Like when the doctor told me I would never run or jump again, I chose to not accept it. It’s that simple. People always ask me, How did you do it?
I just grinded every single day. I did what I had to do—above and beyond what the physical therapist was saying, what my surgeon was saying. I made sureI did the minimum they laid out, and then some. I worked on it every day—the flexibility, the mobility, massaging. I had an electric stim machine because two of my four quadriceps muscles had complete atrophy. I grinded every single day.
I remember the surgeon saying, Well, most people don’t come back from something like this. I said, Well, I’m not most people. You can’t tell me how I’m going to heal. In that moment, we hadn’t even had the surgery yet, and he was already telling me what my outcome was going to be. With all due respect, he didn’t know me like that. He didn’t know what I was willing to door what I was willing to push through.
At the time, I had just gotten into fitness. I left the restaurant industry in early 2009, and this happened in July 2009. I had just made the decision to walk away and explore the fitness industry. Then, they told me I’d never run or jump again. The doctor said there was about a 10% chance. I said, Well, count me in that 10
And then that's when the competitor kicked in. And I was like, like, you can't tell me how I'm gonna heal. You know, so I was like, you know what, let's have the surgery, then we'll go to work. And granted initially after the surgery, was in some serious pain for about two weeks. Like this is my first ever surgery.
The first couple weeks it was a little rocky, but now we fast forward a few months and like I'm walking again, like I'm walking without crutches and I'm at the track with the kids and they're running around. I was like, you know what, like, let me see if I can get both feet off the ground. I was like, let's just try it.
And so I go, I start to run and granted I look like a newborn giraffe, but I was able to get both feet off the ground. And it was in that moment where I was like, I'm making a full comeback. I will be in that10%.
Shane Jacob
Right on. Yeah. Right on. Let me ask you this. I've heard you talk about past pain into power. Can you talk a little bit about that? Tell me what you mean about that.
Robert B. Foster
Because everybody goes through something at some point. So there's a difference between speaking and storytelling or venting and trying to use your story to inspire. So when I talk about the knee injury, it's not about the knee injury. People get stuck on the what and that past pain—they end up reliving it because they're stuck on the what. And I'll use watching my father pass as an example.
If I just get stuck on what I saw in that moment, because I'll never unsee it, then I'm going to just be sad every single day. Watching his eyes get big, his head turn, his eyes slowly close. And then you saw the color just leave his face. If I stay there, I'm never going to be healed from it. So instead, I quickly pivoted to a place of gratitude.
Now I have my own podcast, and I've interviewed multiple men who have never met their father. I was 45 when my father passed. So I had 45 years with this man—of memories, of teachings, of life lessons, of times where he made me mad. So I leaned into those moments as things that he's built. There are photos of him. There are videos of him dancing like a crazed fool at a family reunion on YouTube. There are so many memories that I can go back to that can make me smile. And even the sad ones, because you have to feel all the things.
There are days where I just wish I could hear his voice. But you can't get stuck in the things that you can't control. I had to accept that I'm never gonna high-five him again. I'm never gonna hug him again. You just have to reconcile with the things that you can't control. And then on the days when I miss him, I lean into those moments where, like I said earlier, I got the life lesson, I got the laughter, or I got the kick in the tail that I needed.
That's how you take that past pain. You take out those teachable moments and those fond memories, and you use that to help other people who aren't there yet.
Shane Jacob
Right on, right on. So, Robert, you talk about prioritizing yourself, and it eems like you say that's really hard for a lot of people to do. So tell us about this whole prioritizing yourself idea you got going on.
Robert B. Foster
Yeah, so it's one of the worksheets in my book. And I deal with this a lot, especially in the fitness industry. A lot of moms feel like once they become a mom and a wife, they have to backburner all their hopes, dreams, and wishes. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. Because, again, going back to the doctor trying to tell me how my life is supposed to be—don't let society tell you how your life is supposed to be. Nobody's supposed to do anything.
When you are a parent, and I have five kids of my own, yes, you can say what you want to say, but they're watching what you do. So if you're not living your best life, they're not going to pick that up. And then they're going to have their own struggles as they're growing up. They're going to have trouble prioritizing themselves and doing the things they want to do. They're going to get stuck in that societal box.
When you are taking care of yourself, when you're living your best life, when you're healthy, when you're doing the things that make you happy—not doing the things that make you unhappy, because a lot of people get stuck there as well—and you set firm boundaries for yourself, everybody in your inner circle is going to benefit from that, because they're getting the best version of you.
The stressed-out version of you isn't helping anybody. The always sad or the always negative version of you isn't helping anyone. It's not inspiring anyone. But when you're living in your purpose, when your soul is lit up, when you're helping other people—that is when your entire circle is going to benefit. If you don't prioritize the things that make you happy, that make you excited, and that give you a sense of purpose, then you're not going to reach your true potential, and you're not going to see your real value in the world.
Shane Jacob
Why do you think so many of us get stuck not doing that? We just feel an obligation. We don't feel like we deserve it. We feel like we need to suffer. Why do you think that we feel guilty, like everything has to be about somebody else? What are the things that make it hard for us to really focus on ourselves? Because I think that a lot of times, it can just sound—it's because what people hear is selfishness.
Robert B. Foster
Yeah, but think about it. Think about self-care, self-love, self-belief, self-esteem. It all begins with self. So if you're being selfish to benefit you, now it's a negative connotation. But if you're taking care of yourself for the betterment of others—
Like me being a fitness coach, the things that I do, they're watching my actions. They're watching how hard I train. They're watching how much water I'm drinking. They're watching all of that stuff. So I'm prioritizing my self-care so they can see the examples. Like, you can go out to eat and not drink. Yo ucan do it. You can go out to eat and skip the breadsticks. It's possible. But we get sucked into the societal norm.
People say, "You can have a burger, one drink's not gonna kill you," and we give in because we want to please everyone else. But you're derailing yourself from your own goal. You're prioritizing someone who doesn't have to live in your skin, who doesn't have to pay your bills, who doesn't have to live in your household, and who is not raising your children. You're prioritizing those people, and they're going to go home and live their lives—not realizing they just knocked you off the train tracks.
Shane Jacob
I like your idea there. Think it’s selfish, think whatever you want to. I'm doing this, and the result is for somebody else. Selfish, be it what it is. I like your way of thinking on that. So you've talked a little bit about being stuck.
Robert B. Foster
Thank you.
Shane Jacob
I was going to—I guess in those moments, I was wondering if you could just—you talked a little about your knee injury or when you were told that you'd never run or jump again. But I was wondering if you could just go into a little bit more detail and share what happened. And then, in that moment, when they actually said, "You're not going to run or jump again," how did that feel?
Robert B. Foster
Okay. Yeah, so the injury itself. I was training for a track meet in my early30s, and this was before I got into fitness. Like, I was always an athlete, but when you're into fitness, it’s completely different because you actually learn how the body works. I had a gym-quality leg extension machine, and I was using it every single day, thinking I was going to get myself nice and strong—not realizing I was giving myself a muscular imbalance. But I was doing it everyday.
So, the day of the meet comes, and I do the long jump first—and I win. Now, backstory: I was an All-American track athlete, but somewhere in there, I had let myself go. This is another story for another day, but my ex tried to runaway with my infant son. Anyway, I ended up getting him back.
So, I had to rethink things, and this goes back to where the "Prioritizing Yourself" worksheet kicks in because I actually lived it. Every worksheet in this book comes from things I’ve lived. It’s not just things I came up with or learned from a book somewhere. I lived these things.
I had let myself go a little, but then I had my "aha" moment, like, you can't do this. I ended up losing 45 pounds in about five months. I integrated my son into my life. Most people do it the other way around—they integrate themselves around the life of the child. Once I flipped it, I got myself back on track. And—I think I forgot what the original question was.
Shane Jacob
Just details of your injury.
Robert B. Foster
Right! The jump, yes, yes. So, that was one of my goals. Now that I had lost the weight, I wanted to get back on the track again. But back to my training—I had given myself an imbalance. So, the day of the meet, I win the long jump. Then, I’m in the high jump. Technically, I had already won my age bracket, but I was 32, and there was another guy competing who was 45. And the competitor in me was like, I ain't letting this guy beat me.
Even though our age brackets didn’t really matter, I still wanted to win. So, I go, I plant to jump, and I felt the tug in my left knee. I missed the jump. He went, he missed the jump. And I was like, "Alright, I’ll do one more." And that’s always the kiss of death—"just one more."
So, I get some tape, I wrap my knee, and I’m telling you, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day—sunny, minimal wind. I’m a Leo, I love a crowd, and people love watching the end of the high jump. I go, I do my approach, I plant to jump—then I saw white. When I came to, I was on the ground. I looked down at my knee, and my kneecap was about four inches up my quadricep.
The patella tendon and everything around it just completely ripped. Fortunately, I couldn’t feel it. I motioned for my girlfriend at the time to call an ambulance. The athletic trainer comes running over, and I had my handover my knee, so she couldn’t see it. She said, "I don’t think you’re gonna need an ambulance." Then I moved my hand, and the look of horror on her face—I’ll never forget it. She said, "How are you not screaming right now?" I told her, "I can’t feel this at all. But more importantly, how do I get my two gold medals?" That’s what I was worried about!
So, in that moment, when the doctor said those words—he walks into the room, I’m on the stretcher, he takes off the brace, and without even touching it, just looking at it, he says, "Ooh, you’re never gonna run or jump again."
It hit me like a ton of bricks. My kids were little at the time—10, 7, 2,and my twins were 4 months old. I went down that negative headspace: "I’m not going to be able to run on the beach with the kids, jump from rock to rock, play basketball." My ex and I were both teary-eyed. But then, the competitor in me kicked in. "You can’t tell me how I’m going to heal." So, I said, "Let’s have the surgery, and then we’ll go to work."
The first couple of weeks were rough, but a few months later, I was walking again without crutches. I was at the track with the kids, watching them runaround. I thought, "Let’s see if I can get both feet off the ground." I started running, and granted, I looked like a newborn giraffe, but I was able to do it. And that’s when I knew—I was making a full comeback. I would be in that 10%.
Shane Jacob ‍
Right on. Right on. That's a cool story. Good for you. Tell us some more. You've said some talked about some worksheets and that. Tell us more about your book, Shut Up and Grind.
Robert B. Foster
Alright, so people, people always ask me how they're like, how do you stay disciplined? Like how do you stay? How do you keep your eye on the prize and And I tell them I was like this is this is how right and as you look at this book, you see it's not very thick Right. Â
It's like this isn't about me It's like I do share some of my stories in there just to illustrate what people are gonna do in the worksheet But I took the principles that I use to help people get in shape.
Because no matter what it is you want to accomplish, you have to start with a starting point. Right? You gotta have a starting point. And then you gotta figure out what you want the end goal to be. So you gotta start there.
I was calling the GPS theory. Right? You gotta know where you're starting, know where you're going. And then in the middle, you might come up to a closed road. You might come up to a detour. Right? It's usually not linear.
At some point, you're gonna have obstacles thrown your direction and these worksheets teach you how to navigate those obstacles So the first one is is titled the chapter one is titled. There's nothing wrong with you Like good. That's the first step.
It's like I worked with with a young boy young man College age who had Asperger's and he was trying to get a job as a writer now his mom who was a clinical psychologist right woman with a PhD I dropped out of college three times
But she hired me to work with her son because he was just stuck on the fact that he's not getting jobs because he has Asperger's And so I helped him reframe that using the methods in this book And so we started with his beginning point.Â
We started all right. What excuses are holding you back? So there's a worksheet dedicated to eliminating excuses. There's a worksheet about assessing you're inner circle.
There's one There's one about casting the vision because before you can set a goal you have to cast a vision you got to be able to see it Feel it and really immerse yourself in that feeling because that's what's gonna push you in the days when you don't feel like it or you don't want to or if the conditions aren't right like that that Feeling is gonna push you to do what you have to do each day.
Like when I was rehabbing from the knee Yeah, there were days I didn't want to sit down on the CPM machine which raises your leg up and down. There were days where I didn't wanna, but it needed to be done because I wanted to run and jump again.
So it's like you have to want what you want more than you don't want it. And I've tested this for probably about 15 people before I had it printed. And everyone that's gone all the way through, they're like, you're a genius. I'm like, no ,I'm not a genius. I live this.
This isn't something I came up with. I just wrote down the things that I've been through and the things that worked for me. Because in life, people are afraid to face what hurt them now?
So like you asked me earlier about turning pain into power People don't want to revisit the pain because they're stuck on the hurt right and this book teaches you how to navigate that pain Step by step by step like there's only 15 chapters and there's 13 worksheets built into the 15 chapters
Shane Jacob:
Awesome. That is awesome. Tell me, we're getting a little bit low on time here. What would you like to leave us with today? Got some final thoughts overall?
Robert B. Foster:
Yes, so I tell people you need three things to be successful in life. Three things. You need vision, drive, and perseverance.
I just outlined vision a second ago. You want to see it, feel it, and immerse yourself in it. From there, you need drive. You need drive to get it done. How bad do you want it? Are you easily derailed? Are you easily distracted? Or do you want it bad enough that you can block out the noise, ignore the naysayers, and charge toward your goals every single day?
Then, perseverance. Back to the GPS theory—when you get curveballs, when challenges come, when people doubt you, and things don’t go your way, can you stay the course?
It took me three years to write that book. Three years, because I juggle a lot of different hats—from hosting my own podcast (actually, two). One is about obstacle course racing, and the other is about overcoming obstacles and defying the odds, with the same name as Shut Up and Grind.
That podcast started from my knee injury, helping people understand that whatever is in your path, you can get through it. With those three things—vision, drive, and perseverance—you can accomplish anything.
Shane Jacob:
Awesome. Robert, I appreciate your passion. I mean, we feel it. The Horsemanship Journey and Stable Living Coaching are about the idea that, as parents, we tend to focus on what our kids are doing wrong. I noticed this early on with horsemanship—we’re always focused on what the horse is doing wrong.
We do the same thing as parents. That’s why I especially like your idea that we need to begin right here—with ourselves. Whoever is on the other end of this—our kids, our spouse, our friends—they will be the ones reaping the rewards. It’s a great motivation to focus on ourselves and recognize how important that is.
I love what you said about pain. How can people reach you, learn more about you, and find your book?
Robert B. Foster:
I'm most active on Facebook. I interact on Instagram as well.
Having a common name makes it tough to get the same handle across platforms, so I always include the B to differentiate myself. If you Google "Robert Foster," you’ll get like 100,000 results, so I had to standout.
For my book, just go to ShutUpandGrindBook.com—it will take you directly to the Amazon link.
Shane Jacob:
Perfect, right on. Robert, thank you so much for taking the time to be with us .I appreciate your passion, everything you bring to the table, and the example in your book.
Excited to see it. Thank you so much.
Robert B. Foster:
My pleasure. Again, thanks for the opportunity.
