Transcript for this weeks message

Shane Jacob

Welcome to The Horsemanship Journey today we have a special guest and that is Wylene Wilson. Wylene grew up in Arizona riding any and every horse that came through her mother's boarding facility. She learned from problem horses and made a name for herself in the community as a true horsewoman. She's been a professional horse trainer for over 20 years. She's competed in rodeo circuits, in extreme cowboy races, and has developed a strong presence in the Mustang Heritage's programs. To date, she's participated in over 14 Extreme Mustang Makeovers where she captured three championship titles, and many top finalist positions. Today, she spends most of her time traveling and teaching confidence building and horsemanship clinics for horses and riders. In the horse industry, I believe this lady truly sets the bar for courage, determination, and definitely for having fun. Wylene, thank you so much for joining us today on The Horsemanship Journey.

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Wylene Wilson

Thank you, Shane, so much. This is an amazing opportunity. I'm very humbled and grateful to be here. Thank you.

Shane Jacob

Alright, well that seemed pretty quick to me. Tell us a little bit more about Wylene and where it all began.

Wylene Wilson

Well, so I was pretty fortunate growing up that I had a very supportive mother and father who really wanted to develop us as kids and prepared us for life. And at the time when I was younger, I didn't recognize what was actually going on in preparation for life. But my mom wanted us to always be able to have problem solving solutions, whether that was in life or that was with horsemanship. And so I'm really grateful that I kind of grew up in an environment where I was able to thrive and grow and learn. And I realized that I was very lucky and fortunate to have those opportunities.

And so I'm just really grateful that I had that background. And as I was young and I was working my way through like school and going, once I graduated from high school, I really just didn't know which direction I really wanted to go. I knew I loved to ride horses and I was always a competitor. And then as I was introduced to the mustang world, as you know, it kind of rolled into the scene in about 2008 when they kind of decided to kick it off. And it was brought into my world and I had no idea what it was, but I thought, you know, I probably could train one of these horses. I don't know, it'd be fun. And next thing I know, I'm at a BLM facility picking up a mustang.

And you know, I've told a lot of people that in my experience with working mustangs, I could have been told that they were going to change my life probably a hundred times. But until I actually physically, emotionally, spiritually, like psychologically went through the experience, I don't think I was ready or prepared for what was about to come down the road for me. And when I say that, what that means is, is that there were so many opportunities out there that I wasn't even aware of. And I also realized that I did have something to contribute to the world and there was a way that I could bring my knowledge and experience to the table and also into the competitive world. And you know, I'm really grateful that I had those opportunities. And now I've gotten to the point where, you know, once you've competed in that level of doing the Mustang Makeover, I reached a level that I wanted to reach and I was happy and grateful to be there. And then I started to say, now how do I create fulfillment and peace within my own life to help other people do the same? And so it became more about not being the competitor, but more the coach. And so that's kind of where I've gone as far as coaching and teaching and doing clinics.

And as you know, when I was part of the documentary Wild Horse, Wild Ride, that really kind of sparked the momentum that I needed in my life to generate opportunities to coach and to teach, but also to be learning and loving in my own life and recognizing all these amazing, wonderful opportunities that I had. So I feel like a really fortunate person in that sense. So being able to participate in the Mustang Makeover was just the beginning of amazing opportunities that showed up where I was able to connect and to have networking possibilities simply because of horses. And as you know, horses are so incredible because they bring people together, and they are the teachers. They are the healers. I say that; I've experienced that. And so now it's just about paying that forward, and that's where about I am in my experience as far as being a horseman but also being a student. And I will say this, mustangs really humbled me. They prepared me for patience and understanding, as well as sometimes you're not going to have all the answers. And sometimes you're not the best. And that just goes to show how life is, regardless if it's a Mustang Makeover or if you're a corporate executive or you're a school teacher. We all have our struggles and things that we're all working through. The mustangs just really helped me to navigate through my own experience of life and to kind of step it up and also to step it down, if that's fair to say.

Shane Jacob

Right on, cool. Wanna come back to that. First, tell me a little bit about Soul Search Equine. What's that all about, Soul Search Equine?

Wylene Wilson

Okay, so yeah, so Soul Search Equine kind of came together last year. And as many people know, and some people know me as Extreme Wylene, and that was my name for a really long time. That was kind of my painted on name that I had for years because I was very extreme in the sense of being able to do things quickly, efficiently with wild, crazy horses. And you know I realized at the time that that's who I was when I was. And as you know, we all go through different transitions and things change in our lives. And it really did come down to that I, about two and a half years ago, started to soul search. It's essentially through COVID, and I'm sure this is other people's experiences too, with loss and lessons and learning, because I had lost people to COVID and I had lost family members or people that were close to me. And when you go through those experiences in your life, you start to ask a lot of questions. And so for me, that was, am I being who I need to be? Am I the best, highest version of myself? Or am I being what I've been programmed or taught to believe I was supposed to be? And so Soul Search Equine just kind of popped up because I was soul searching. But I think also horses are soul searching.

And so it just became from going from Extreme Wylene to I'm just Wylene and I am soul searching. And so I wanted to build an entire program website, coaching platform and clinic opportunities and retreat space for those who are on the same journey of saying, maybe I don't have everything figured out and maybe I don't know everything and I wanna be better and I wanna evolve. And I think that's the biggest thing is that we reinvent ourselves and we go through experiences in life that mold us and shape us. And so I wanted to take my experience with what I did in the arena and in competitions in that stage and put that into a opportunity and coaching program slash mentoring, helping other people rise up and ride and gain the life and the experiences that they'd always wanted to experience. And so Soul Search Equine was basically going from Extreme Wylene into I'm Wylene and I want to help you find answers too. And so it kind of became that more of a empowerment and educational soul search of my own, which allowed me to connect with the people that I know need me. And I can help them, but they can also help me. So that's where Soul Search Equine came from. So you can still type in Extreme Wylene, but Soul Search will come up.

Shane Jacob

That is actually, Wylene, that's an empowering thought. I mean, just to think that, you had the awareness to say, you know, really embrace Extreme Wylene, but maybe somebody gave it to you, and you're like becoming more of who you really wanna be and kind of dial that in. So that's pretty cool, I like that. Okay, now this is like two or three times you've mentioned healing, and we hear a little bit about horses and healing, but really kind of dial in on that. We, I mean, what kinds of loss and how does that go and how can we really use horses for healing? Talk to us, talk to me about.

Wylene Wilson

Yeah, absolutely. You know, at the time, you know, as we go through life, we are programmed to believe or think a certain way. And so through horses, I started to notice that they were very reflective of me, my experience, my, my life. If, and I started to say to myself like, why did I attract this into my life at the time that I did? What is that about? Where's the lesson there? And I remember, and this was even a couple of years ago, I started to say, I need to get honest with myself that I am not immune from tragedy. I'm not immune from trauma, from pain, from grief. And I think it's something that in the equine world, especially in the Western world, the cowboy code, we don't talk about emotions and we don't talk about our crap because we want to pretend that everything's good and that we're strong and that we're not a crybaby, and that we can just dust ourselves off and get right back at it.

And while I lived that life for decades of being a woman in a male dominated industry, trying to prove to the world that I was enough, I was slowly but surely suffocating myself because I wasn't actually being 100% authentic. And when I say authentic, I think We all deep down know our highest version of ourselves. We know who that person is because we felt it, we've experienced it, and when we go through crazy experiences, those traumas and those tragedies, they can turn into triumph. But the key here is being honest with yourself about are you living your fullest potential? Are you stepping it up, sparking your soul and saying to yourself, I want to roll out of bed and feel this because I know I deserve it and I'm worthy of that. And so the healing side of it for me was helping clients, helping horses bring that together.

And I recognize that horses are just simply there to facilitate our healing. They are transmitters of energy. They take in all the stuff that we deal with as humans energy. They take in all the stuff that we deal with as humans, and all of our emotion sand all the chaos in our lives. And we will go spend time with them at the barn or go to that horse show. And they are our outlet. And so the healing aspect of it is something I've become very hungry for because I know that no one's talking about horses healing and humans coming all together. I know that there are amazing programs out there and things that are offered. But I wanted to be able to, number one, get honest with myself and say, how can I take my experience and tragic things that I've been through? Again, like I said, losing people that you love and recognizing that nobody was coming to save me. I had to come save me. And that was my lesson over the last three years was, noone cares, Wylene, about what you've done or what you've accomplished or where you've been or where you're going. What people really care about is, what do you have to help them with and offer them? How do you hold space for them? And what is in it for them?

And so I started to get really humble over the last two years, two, three years, and say, I'm a student of the horse. I'm a student of learning, and I want to constantly learn and grow. And so I started to shift what I was doing on my daily habits. Everything from reading more books to slowly quieting my mind because I was always running and gunning and burning fuel and looking cool and doing the whole thing. But could I honestly look myself in the mirror and roll out of bed and say, Wylene, I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm happy in my life in every single avenue. I couldn't say that. So I decided to change that. And so I am currently twisting and pulling things together to build a program and a mentorship that helps people step up their life and get into it and get honest with themselves that we're not perfect, that things happen. But in those tragedies, how do we find that triumph? And that's where the healing comes from. It's getting honest with yourself and saying, you know what, I'm having a tough day and I need a, I need a mental checkout day. I need a day for myself. I didn't use to do that. I used to worry about what everybody else needed and give it all away and help everyone. But I wasn't really actually helping myself. And I know that people as they're hearing this can relate because everywhere I go, I hear stories of people's journey of how they ended up with horses.

And I love telling those stories. I love the sacredness behind what a horse is because the horse is the teacher, is the healer. So, yes, healing is something I think we need to talk more about. I think we need to talk more about the mental health of our country and things that are going on that people don't talk about. Addiction, depression, struggles that people go through, the stress, the anxiety that people deal with, whether they're a competitor or not, we all struggle with those human things.

And so I wanted to be able to be that coaching cowgirl that could come in and say, I'm gonna hold space for you. How far, how high do you want to go? You're capable, you're magnificent, it's within you, the answer is within you. And that was the journey that I was kind of on at the same time I didn't know I was on it. And I'm realizing that there's a whole entire groupof people begging for this kind of experience, if you will. And so through the years of working and riding and training and being a coach and a clinician. Irealized I was so much more than that for people. I was someone's friend. And sometimes that's all we needed.

We didn't really need the horsemanship. We needed the lifemanship. And that's become my word is to, I'm not there to teach you horsemanship. I'm there to teach you to step it up in your life. And then the horsemanship shows up hand in hand with that. So that's where I'm at right now. And I feel as though I'm proud of myself for being able to admit and to express those hard things that I've been through because I think people can relate. And so I just want to be relatable and make the world a better place.

Shane Jacob

Right on. Wylene Cowgirl, extreme or no, you're making it happen. We feel your passion for this and it's awesome. So just a minute ago early on you mentioned, just a minute ago you mentioned your feelings of worthiness or not feeling worthy and you mentioned you know kind of what that did and the way that that we limit ourselves. So maybe we've been beat to hell, maybe we're just a little bit, I don't know where all this stuff comes from, maybe it doesn't even matter where it comes from, but we have these things that truly limited us. I wonder if you could just go on a little bit about just the whole idea of these limiting beliefs that we somehow either intentionally or not, we accept these as our reality. So talk to us about that.

Wylene Wilson

Yeah, absolutely. And you know what’s so funny? I’m so glad you brought that up because limiting beliefs are so crippling. And here’s the biggest one. And I, I’m so glad that this is coming up. I have learned that comparison is the stealer of joy. Stop comparing yourself. Stop. Do not compare yourself. If anything, become creative of who you are and don’t compare yourself to your neighbor, to your friends, to your family. Create through authenticity. If you do that and you step into diving in where those beliefs came from, is it a childhood issue? Did you have a trauma? What experiences in your life led you to that? And find out where are your thoughts? Because here’s what I’ve learned. Thoughts become things. We attract those things with which we believe.

So your thoughts become things. And so it’s a daily practice to get out of your head and get away from the committee of people and noise in your mind and go into your heart and say, in a perfect world, what would I do with myself? And how would I change my life and other people’s lives? Because for the most part, we are all in the same boat. Everyone struggles, no one’s immune from it. And being able to get really honest about where does this come from? And here’s the other thing, there’s sometimes parts of our mind that we can’t access. We have our conscious mind, but we also have our subconscious mind. And when we access those subconscious beliefs, that’s where I feel like the root cause is, is actually subconscious, which we have a really difficult time accessing. Because we create through our subconscious mind, 95% of our world comes from that. We think it’s consciousness, but it really isn’t.  

Limiting beliefs for me are a story that we tell ourselves and then the world, the universe, shows up to honor and belief and give us what we ask for. So it’s, are we stepping into our magnificence or are we stepping into a version of ourselves that doesn’t even exist, that we took on as a label and said, yes, I am this, I’m a failure, I’m not smart enough,  I’m not pretty enough, I struggle with this, I struggle with that, and I think recognizing the pattern of thought and the things that we say to ourselves, and you know this, I know you know this, Shane, but we are our own worst critic. And we would not speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves. And so I decided to change that and to say, I’m proud of you, Wylene you’re doing a great job and every day is a new day and we can start over at any time. So that’s the message. You can start over at anytime. Today’s a new day. So what do you choose to do with that day?

And going through tragedy and losses, you start to place value in boxes that make way more sense than they did when you were in a different mindset. And so I really like to slash excuses and fear by saying, I know I can do this. I am capable. I am smart and I am worthy. I deserve. I deserve it and it’s okay. And then it’s teaching others to know that they deserve the same.

Shane Jacob

Awesome, awesome right on you began this when you began this response you talked about don’t measure yourself, but you know, I’m like We’re you go to a horse show you’re measured you go to the road to the horse You’re measured to go to the Mustang makeover. You’re measured you look in your bank account compared to your neighbor It’s like we measure everything and then we place that measurement on what we’re worth is our soul is our value as a human being right That’s the deal

Wylene Wilson

Yep.

Shane Jacob

You’re saying no more. Is that what you’re saying?

Wylene Wilson

Absolutely. And I feel like people are like nodding their heads and going, yes, I know what that’s like. And so my goal, my challenge to myself, when I walk into any situation, competitive, if I’m coaching, I remove myself from that comparison or judgment or expectations because I can’t put my expectations on other people because they’re not me. And the judgment, it binds you to that version of you don’t want to be. Because let’s face it, we’re not being, we’re not being the highest version of ourselves and showing and giving love. And I think that those three things are big things to think about and are hot ticket items that are very, very prevalent in the world of people, expectation, judgment, and the comparison of others.

So I started to look at someone and go, wow, you’re so amazing. You’ve done such a great job. I’m so proud of you. And I would immediately find 10 things I loved about that person. Before they even said hello to me. And I wanted to challenge myself to see the greatness in others. Because it allows me to see the greatness in me. And I am you and you are me. And we are reflective of each other because we’re all in this together. If you think about it, we’re all in this together. And and nobody wants to be isolated from that. We all want to be in the nest together and to be supported and loved and said, that a boy, that a girl, you did it, I’m proud of you. But how often are we saying that to us, to ourselves? So comparison and judgment can be really difficult things, but I’m telling you, once you dive into a different, mindset behind it and a perception of how to live your life, things change.

And guess what? The universe shows up to honor you, however you want to view it. God, angels, whatever your belief system is, I believe that there’s an amazing higher power that is always in our corner saying, I got you. But if you don’t ask for that help, if you’re not, if you’re not saying I need this assistance, there’s not going to be. So you are able, and we all have the capacity, to call upon a higher version, a higher source for us. And every morning and throughout the day, I’m saying thank you, thankyou, thank you. I’m so grateful. And the gratitude is what has allowed me to step into life, even when things are just tumultuous and crappy, I go, thankyou, thank you for the lesson. What is it? So, life is so amazing that way because I have had this incredible journey where I used to think I had it all figured out. When I was in my 20s, I was like, girl, you got it all figured out. You know everything. Boy, did I get humbled. And then I hit my 30s, and then I was like, oh, I’ve got it all figured out. I’ve got it figured out. I know what I’m doing. And boy, did I get humbled. And now I’m in my 40s and I’m going, it’s the best it’s ever been. And it’s as though Every day is an opportunity to erase the chalkboard and say, today in class it’s a new day, and here’s the lesson of the day. So I try to approach my life in that way.

Shane Jacob

Those are amazing choices you’re making, Wylene. Look, I don’t think I’m the only one out there that looks at Wylene Wilson and just sees you as, you know, like you resemble courage to people and you resemble fun, but I wanna talk a little bit about the courage. And I don’t mean the courage to get on a colt. Well, I do. I mean the courage to get on a colt, but the courage to present yourself to the world, to have a little bit of vulnerability and just to open up and live in this planet that we’re in. I mean, some of us, I mean, we’re just like paralyzed with fear, you know? So I was wondering if you could just address the fear a little bit. I mean, how do we step out of this fear?

Wylene Wilson

Yep, well I will start by saying thank you for saying those nice complimentary things. I will tell you I’m actually one of the most fearful people and And no one would believe me when I say that but I’m being very honest and candid with you that actually I struggle a lot With insecurity and fear the reason I put myself into those positions of danger and like crazy extreme conditions is because I want to push myself To believe and know that I am capable of doing it the hardest thing with fear is just taking the first step because actually what’s in your mind versus what’s actually out there will just make you shake your head and go, why didn’t I do that two weeks ago? Why did I wait so long? But we get in our head and we self-sabotage and we hold ourselves together. And I think the fear comes from a couple of things.

Sometimes it’s our insecurity or our experience or we had something happen to us when we were younger and whether that’s with horses or not. They kind of make us gun shy. But for the most part, we don’t, fear can literally cripple you. It can literally cripple you. And I have looked at clients before and said, what’s your biggest fear? And they’ll say, well, my horse is gonna run away and buck and then I’m gonna get my foot hung up in the stirrup and then I’m gonna get drugged. And I’m going, wait a second, where does that even come from? Why are you saying that? And it’s funny how even a minute detail can become a massive mound of problems and storytelling and oh my God this is what happened to me. And so I try to really allow people to look at what they’re saying their fear is and get to the root of what that fear is.

Because the reality is, is we are capable of anything. So how do we turn that fear into fun? My honest opinion of that is you must go back to being a child. Because kids play and kids don’t care. And kids want to explore and learn and have fun with their friends and their horses. And so when I work with students and clients and horses for that matter, I’m always saying, you can do this. It’s fun. Let’s have the adventure. Let’s try. And so I appreciate what you’re saying about energy. I feel like my energy is very bold and I am not a little trickling stream. I am Niagara Falls. And when you work with me, it’s drinking from a fire hydrant. And anyone who knows that, knows that. And as I’m talking, you can feel me build that momentum. My goal is always to take that kind of momentum from the fear box and shift it into the fun box and have my clients pull from the fun box and go, you know what?

What a great opportunity. I learned that was not what I wanted. And so now I’m gonna change that. And then I’m gonna approach it from the way a child would think about it. Which is, it’s just a horse, or it’s just a trail ride, or it’s just a competition. Let’s just go have fun. Because you’ve already done the work. So why are we self-sabotaging and saying we’re not capable? Because actually on the other side of that fear is a life and a love and an experience that you didn’t even know existed. And I know this because I’ve taught it thousands of times to people and I love that. And I’m so grateful that I can be that mentor, that facilitator that can hold that space for people to say, you’re safe. I got you. I’m not gonna put you in a position you can’t handle, but I am going to push you out of your comfort zone. You must step out of your comfort zone. That’s where the fear changes is when you step out of your comfort zone because we can’t see what we don’t know. So why not just walk towards it and step into the dragon’s mouth instead of running from it? So that’s my challenge to everybody is try, just try. You never know until you try.

Shane Jacob

Awesome. Great thoughts. I appreciate that, Wylene. I’m going to come back to the beginning of our conversation today. Earlier on, you said something that was so just struck a chord with me, and that was that the idea that, you know, everything just begins right here and here, you know, and then when you have that, when you’re kind of at peace with that, the horsemanship, just everything comes so much easier. It’s just kind of like you said it I think your words were it just shows up I mean if you have a little bit of how to and the technique it everything just kind of gels together it works out great. So That was an exciting message. I sure was glad to hear that’s a similar message to what the horsemanship journey is all about That’s awesome. Well, I mean, what have we missed here today? What would you like to leave us with last thoughts for The Horsemanship Journey today?

Wylene Wilson (30:50.624)

You know, I’ll just say this, I am so happy and grateful that I have such a beautiful, crazy, cool experience in this life. And my only goal and dream is to help the world step up and go live the life of their magnificent dreams and to live a life that they’re obsessed with and to get honest with themselves, to get out of the rut. And so it is about saying it’s possible and that anything can happen. And then it really does come down to our self-talk. Who are we on the inside? And what is going on in our mind? And how do we really step it up?

Because I know each and every single one of us have a bucket list journal out there that we wish we could accomplish. And we go, oh, someday, one day I’ll make that happen. One day I’ll buy the dream home. One day I’ll fall in love and I’ll do this. One day I will accomplish that. No, that day is today. Today is the day to say, I’m stepping it up. I am scared shitless, but here we go. Because doing that, your future self is thanking you right now. The highest version of you is waiting for you. So who is that? Be that. Go. Take the step. Your horses are begging you. Your life is begging you to do so. So step it up. Love yourself. Be kind to others. And then go hit the home run. And go have the life that you always wanted. And anything’s possible. If you don’t like it, change it. Anything can go the direction you want. But you must get in the boat. Start rowing. Get around people who love you, who support you, who celebrate you. If you’re not surrounding yourself with like-mindedness and people that are like, I am proud of you, you’re doing it, you’re doing hard things, you might wanna look at your circle and say, do I walk around fulfilled and happy and I feel celebrated? Because if you’re not being celebrated for who you are, what you are, what you’re doing, you might wanna take a scope of what your surroundings are and change it. And that’s what I did.

I started to say, How do I become everything? How do I step it up all the way? And it really just started with, who am I surrounding myself with? And what am I putting into my mind and what’s coming out? And so awareness is a big one. Awareness is a big one. So know what you don’t want, know what you do want, set those rockets of desire and let go of how it shows up and say thank you. But what we’re doing because we’re human is, we’re trying to control and we’re trying and we’re making things happen. What would it look like if we just said, I deserve this and it’s on its way to me? Thank you so much. That’s a totally different feel. So that’s my message to people is, you don’t know what you don’t know. So are you educating yourself? Are you stepping out of your comfort zone? Are you asking yourself those hard questions of, where’s my emotion coming from? Why am I addicted to things? Why am I struggling? Just get honest with yourself. It’s okay. And then love yourself through it. And I promise you, the other version of you is waiting for you. So go get it.

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Shane Jacob

Awesome, awesome so powerful. Thank you for that Well, I mean if you’re a for our viewers and listeners are listening to us today and they’re hearing your energy and they’re hearing And they’re thinking to themselves I want to be one of those people that’s going to spend my time with somebody where I can begin to Experience some of the magnificence that might be available to me. What’s the best way to reach you? How do they get ahold of you?

Wylene Wilson (34:48.416)

Yeah, absolutely. So you can email me at soulsearchequineat@gmail.com, soulsearchequine@gmail.com. You can also jump onto my website, Extreme Wylene Soul Search Equine, it comes up. And something that I’m always excited to say is if you ever wanna come work one-on-one with me or do a boot camp or a clinic or a retreat, I offer different experiences all over the country. And I have a pretty busy schedule, but if there is an opportunity to coach someone or to help them in their transition of growing and changing or stepping through hard things, I would love to be that for you. And I think I’ve always just wanted to hold space for people. So whether that’s your horsemanship or your lifemanship, I would love to be right there side by side holding that space for you saying it’s possible. And to be able to give you those steps that you need to kind of step it up and to go.

You know, blaze your own trail. And I think it’s just igniting people’s, their soul. And that is really what I found out about myself over the last couple of years is who am I really? I’m the soul speaker. I speak to your soul. I’m reaching right through this camera and saying, I hear you, Shane, I got you. And I think I did the same with horses. And I think it took me a while to articulate what that was, but I’ve realized that I want to ignite you. Because it’s not about me, it’s about you stepping it up. I’ve already stepped up in my life, I wanna help you step up in your life. I don’t want you to be me, I want you to be the best version of you.

And so that’s just really my message to people is I want people to know that version of you and everything you’ve ever wanted is waiting for you. Get out of your head, get away from the fear, step into fun, step into opportunity, put yourself out there, do the scary things. The newer version of you over there is waiting. Trust me.

Shane Jacob

Well, if that doesn’t light your fire, your woods wet, Wylene, thank you so much for sharing your passion with us today. Thank you for joining us on The Horsemanship Journey. We so much appreciate your time as always ladies and gentlemen. Wylene Wilson.

Wylene Wilson

Hehehe

Shane Jacob

Good job.

Wylene Wilson

Thank you, Shane. I appreciate you. I appreciate you.

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