Damaging trust in relationships is normal.

Knowing how, and being willing to repair is the key. 

‍

What you will discover this week:

• The power of acknowledging mistakes
• 2 relationship destroyers
• How to rebuild trust after it's been damaged

Transcript for this weeks message:

Welcome to this week's ‘You Are Destined For Greatness.’ Thank you for taking your time to be here today.

You know, one thing that we encounter with horses a lot is trust issues, okay? And trust issues, when we think about trust issues, we think about horses that have had a previous owner or owners, and for whatever reason, the horse is very untrusting towards us or all people. Or we think about young horses who have just, they're too young and they don't have enough experience to know who to trust or how to trust or whatever. For example, this horse I have today is just a two-year-old and she's very green, or very inexperienced, and so we're working on trust.

So just with horses, same as people, trust is the most important principle in the relationship, okay? And so, we value that. So, as we go about establishing trust and working on this relationship, this partnership that we have with horses, as we go about it, things happen that actually damage the trust even though we want to have a high trust-level.

For example, there's two things that usually happen. Number one is, a miscommunication can damage the trust. There's lots of things. Today I want to just talk about two. One is the miscommunication that damages trust, and second of all is when I just make mistakes. I just did something that I regret that I wished I wouldn't it done, it's not how I wanted to come out. And I took, it damaged our trust relationship a little bit.

So, in my example today, let's just say that there's a lot of flies out, and I swatted a fly, and she thinks I'm swatting at her, okay? That's what's called a miscommunication, okay? Now I've damaged the trust a little bit. I want to heal that trust. Another example would be if I got impatient or angry, and I got frustrated, and I smacked her. Then, and I looked back later, and I said, you know, I wished I wouldn't have done that. That didn't help the situation. And now I need to repair the trust.

So, what's important to know about this is, is we're going to make mistakes, okay? There's going to be miscommunications. Communication is something that we should endeavor to be great at, but we're going to have miscommunications. And we're going to make mistakes. And that needs to be okay, and it needs to be acknowledged.

So, the first part is to know, hey, that's going to be the way it's going to be, and it's going to be okay. And to accept it, not to avoid it, not to dismiss it, not to pretend it didn't happen, not to just avoid the subject and not to forget about it and move on and expect there's going to be no consequence. So, I need to acknowledge it and have it be okay, to know that these things are going to happen.

Second of all, I need to address it with who I'm talking to, okay? There's so much power in simply, there's power for you and there's power for them, particularly a human being, when you say to them, "Hey, man, I recognize that I did this, and that's not how I wanted to come out. I'm sorry. I'm going to work on not having that happen again because that's not the way I want to treat you." That alone right there,

it may not totally bring back all the trust level to the way it was before. You're going to still need to keep making little deposits in the trust bank account, if you will, over time to heal it back to where it was a hundred percent. But that alone right there is a big powerful step.

Our kids, you know, we do things wrong. It's, that's the nature of being a parent. So, it's okay. Second of all, acknowledge it. There's power in that, and it gives them power. And it helps them become and know that they're going to make mistakes, and it's going to be okay. And then you're on the way back to recognizing it.

So, she, if you saw that, I raised my hand. She doesn't know, hey, are you going to be swatting at me or are you going to not be swatting at me, right? So, about the second or the third time that I come back over here she's already pretty much forgiven me. And if I continue, you know, if I don't smack her anymore, if that's what I had done, or go swatting flies that are, you know, in that way around her face that are going to scare her, then we're going to continue on our way to rebuilding a great trust relationship.

Hey, you're on your way too. Remember, You Are Destined For Greatness.

‍

‍

‍