Solving Being Bullied or Being a Bully

Transcript:

Welcome to this week's You Are Destined For Greatness. I'm coming to you from our little riding pen, where I've got three of my partners back here. These horses are turned out together, and it's actually their first time being turned out as a group.

A lot of times, when we see horses turned out together, it looks so nice. You know, we smile because they seem social, like they're getting along, and everybody's happy. Or maybe you see horses in a pasture, and it just looks peaceful.

What we don’t often realize is the process it took to get them to that place where they get along so well. Many times, it can be a rough process of determining the pecking order or social order. As I talk, you might see some shenanigans here with these three horses in the background. They’ve only been turned out together for a few minutes and are working out their own social dynamics.

I bring this up today because our kids experience something similar as they go out into the world—whether it’s going to school or being among their peers. Often, there’s someone who is rough on others, and we call that bullying. Maybe your kid is being bullied, or maybe your kid is the one doing the bullying. There are two sides to that, and it’s a big subject.

Today, I just want to touch on a couple of things. I have a podcast on this topic, and we go into depth about it in The Horsemanship Journey Podcast. But for now, here are two key points:

1. Be aware.

Stay involved in your child’s life. Pay attention and notice any signs of isolation, depression, or other changes that could indicate something is wrong. If you suspect something, ask questions and try to find out if there’s an issue they’re not sharing. This could be something you need to report to a teacher, an administrator, or even authorities if necessary.

2. Build confidence.

Most conversations around bullying focus on being on the defensive. But what’s often not discussed—and what I want to focus on today—is that the best defense against bullying is confidence.

 So, how do you instill confidence in your child, whether they’re being bullied or are the one doing the bullying? First, you need the desire to help them and their cooperation. Then, take a look at yourself. Ask, ”How am I presenting myself? Am I setting a good example of confidence?” Confidence is a feeling that can be cultivated through thoughts. If I’m doing this for myself, I can encourage my kids to do the same.

Here’s one quick tip from the six skill sets we teach in The Horsemanship Journey Podcast for developing good beliefs and confidence: Monitor negative self-talk and thoughts. If you’re thinking or saying something negative about yourself, be aware of it and work to change it. Here’s how to measure whether a thought is negative: If it’s not something you would want to think or say about someone you deeply love, don’t think it or say it about yourself. It’s a choice, and it makes a difference.

Thank you for taking the time to be with me today. Remember, You Are Destined For Greatness.