Cowboy Values for Teens: Building Grit and Courage for Tough Times

What Is the Cowboy Code? Lessons for Teens and Families

“My heroes have always been cowboys. And they still are, it seems.”

These words, sung by Willie Nelson, capture the admiration many of us have for cowboys. Some of this admiration stems from legendary film stars like Gene Autry, who promoted his own “Cowboy Code.” Gene’s code reflected the characters he portrayed—men of high moral character who stood for what was good, decent, and fair.

James P. Owen, at the Center for Cowboy Ethics and Leadership, emphasizes how cowboy values are part of our American Western heritage. These values, he notes, are “values all Americans can share, no matter what our politics, our religion, or our station in life.”

Cowboys are seen as heroic—not just because they take on dangerous jobs, but because they stand for something. Principles like honor, loyalty, and courage are at the heart of the Cowboy Way. Owen outlines 10 principles which serve as powerful guidelines for successful living:

The 10 Cowboy Principles

1. Live each day with courage
2. Take pride in your work
3. Always finish what you start
4. Do what has to be done
5. Be tough, but fair
6. When you make a promise, keep it
7. Ride for the brand
8. Talk less and say more
9. Remember that some things aren’t for sale
10. Know where to draw the line

Let’s dive deeper into #1 and #6.

#1: How Living with Courage Transforms Teens

Why Courage Feels Hard—and How to Build It

Courage is a word that feels inspiring. We all like to think of ourselves as courageous—but let’s be honest, exercising courage is hard. Really hard. It’s much easier to avoid the things that require us to step up.

Our default brain, sometimes called the “natural man,” is wired to seek comfort, avoid pain, and conserve energy. Courage asks us to do the opposite. It means facing fears, pushing past discomfort, and taking action anyway.

How Courage and Confidence Work Together

Courage requires self-confidence, which can be defined as the willingness to feel any emotion. When we feel confident, we can face fear, recognize it’s just a feeling, and take action despite it. This kind of confidence drives us to take risks, and allows us to make progress.

Here’s what courage looks like in real life: feeling scared of failing, rejection, or humiliation—and doing the thing anyway. Because whenwe embrace the discomfort, we gain far more than we lose.

4 Simple Steps to Build Courage in Teens

1. Recognize when you’re avoiding something you want to do.
2. Realize the avoidance stems from a fear of feeling a certain way.
3. Remind yourself: feeling a certain way doesn’t need to determine your results.
4. Feel the fear and do the thing anyway.

#6: The Power of Keeping Promises—for Teens and Parents

Why Keeping Promises to Yourself Builds Grit

Stephen Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, highlights the importance of keeping promises. Here, I’m talking specifically about promises you make to yourself.

When you can trust yourself to follow through, you build discipline and grit. Being dependable for yourself makes you dependable for others, too.

How Discipline and Follow-Through Create Success

Discipline is about trading a little discomfort now for a bigger reward later. If you avoid discomfort now, you’ll face it for much longer—and miss out on the reward.

For example, you might promise yourself, “I’m going to wake up at 5 a.m.” That promise feels great in the moment, but when 5 a.m. rolls around, it’s tempting to stay in bed. If you choose to keep your promise despite the discomfort, not only do you feel accomplished, but you also reap the benefits of increased productivity and confidence.

What Happens When We Break Promises to Ourselves

Breaking promises to ourselves has the opposite effect: it erodes self-trust, leads to self-doubt, and can leave us stuck and discouraged. Worse, it can harm how others perceive us, impacting our relationships and credibility.

4 Practical Steps to Keep Promises to Yourself

1. Be realistic about what you commit to.
2. Expect your brain to resist discomfort—it’s normal.
3. Focus on the positive outcomes of following through.
4. Embrace the discomfort and keep your promise.

Why the Cowboy Way Builds Grit and Character

At the heart of these two principles—living with courage and keeping promises—is a willingness to feel discomfort in exchange for progress and joy.

They never said living by the Cowboy Code was easy. But it’s worth it. And that’s why our heroes have always been cowboys!