Transcript:

Thank you so much for subscribing to my newsletter! I’m glad to have you join me for part 4 of my series on communication. The fact that you’re here and want to improve yourself speaks volumes. I know you are a total badass, and we haven’t even met.

Today’s thought is about how to be a more effective communicator by listening. Stephen Covey said, “Communication is the most important skill in life. We spend most of our waking hours communicating. But consider this: You’ve spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak, but what about listening?”

If you get good at listening, you’ll be in the top tier of communicators. The standard way of listening is listening with the intent to respond. As soon as you open your mouth and start making noise, most of us are busy deciding what we think about it, preparing our rebuttal speech, and can’t wait for you to shut up so we can enlighten you with our superior experience and wisdom.

The problem with listening to respond is that we rarely understand what the speaker is trying to convey, and even more important, we miss the opportunity for the speaker to feel heard. We all have a deep desire to be heard. When we feel heard, we feel connected, and connection gives meaning and purpose to our lives. Are you hearing me? We’re missing a chance to give people meaning and purpose! So, here’s how.

Start with awareness. Be aware of your thoughts when you’re listening, actually listen with the intent to understand, put your damn phone down for a minute and pay attention. Turn towards them, look at them, lean in towards them, then ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are not yes or no questions. Open-ended questions require the speaker to elaborate. Don’t interrupt. You’ll know when they’re finished, and then it’ll be your turn to speak. Get ready to be a hero. The people talking to you are going to appreciate you but, this is a process.

Most of us have a super strong habit of listening to respond, so just pay attention to your thoughts as you listen. When you catch yourself thinking about yourself and your response, just redirect yourself back to understanding the speaker. Give yourself some grace and don’t expect perfection in the short term. This is a huge game-changer! You are becoming a great communicator! You are helping the people you care about feel heard, and you are creating connection and meaning for yourself and for the ones you love! You’ve got this! Because You are destined for greatness!‍

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